


Losing Daylight

by ginger_mosaic



Category: Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Thor (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Genderfluid Loki, Introspection, Original Sin (Marvel), POV Thor, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 13:18:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3651798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginger_mosaic/pseuds/ginger_mosaic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Loki is what Loki is, and Thor decides that this time around, he’s going to accept it. A moment in time following their jaunt to the Tenth Realm, before everything falls apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing Daylight

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Marvel fic ever (!!), and I haven't read all of the comics necessary to this storyline, really, so please excuse any inconsistencies with canon.
> 
> All pronoun confusions are Thor's.

“…And that’s the long and short of it, by my reckoning,” Loki finished. Thor was quite content to let his sibling relay their adventure to the All-Mother. Loki was ever the superior storyteller and Thor felt worn through and besides, he had no qualms with the version of the story Loki presented. It all sounded accurate to his ears, and if there were any falsehoods woven in or omissions, then that was all for the good. They were all weary and in need of rest, and this short debrief would serve their purposes for now. The truth could be investigated later.

What seemed to matter the most now was that Aldrif—or rather, Angela—was alive and well, even if she had not returned with them to Asgardia. Though he would have liked to know her better, Thor would have to be satisfied for now that his sister was alive.

Well, his other sister.

Thor glanced at Loki, who had not yet changed back from feminine form, though Thor thought he would after the farce with the angels had ended. But Loki, now done with the story, looked drawn as the All-Mother spoke with Odin of his opinion, and Thor wondered if perhaps Loki had expended too much magical energy to change back. Shapeshifting used to be easy for him; perhaps it was no longer.

Or perhaps, Thor suddenly thought, Loki did not need to change at all.

“And you, Thor?” asked Freyja, turning to him at last.

“Aye,” said Thor, having been at least half paying attention to the conversation. “Loki’s account is a fair summation, and I have naught to add save this: my apologies for my rough manner at the start of this venture and my condolences for your long, unnecessary grief.”

Freyja smiled. “It is thanks to your persistence that we have found our daughter at last. I had long ago lost any hope of recovering your sister—or indeed that there was anything left to recover. Thank you, Thor.” Here she turned to Loki and added, “And you as well, Loki.”

Up until that moment, Loki had been filled with a cheerful, if not weary, enthusiasm as she explained to the All-Mother, with dramatics fitting of their adventure, what had transpired in the Tenth Realm. In the lull after her speech, when Odin and the All-Mother’s attentions were away, Loki had fallen silent, a state more accurately reflecting her exhaustion. Now, however, Thor was stunned to see the dark look in her eyes, exaggerated and undermined perhaps by the tired bags under them, but no less fierce and, to Thor, frightening. And terribly familiar. When had that darkness infiltrated Loki like this? From where did that anger originate?

“Loki…” said Freyja softly, and Loki turned sharply away and strode from the room without another word. Thor watched her go and turned to Freyja, who stood in wide-eyed shock as much as Thor did.

“Forgive her, Mother,” said Thor. “I know not where she found that… anger, but we are both weary from travel and battle. I will speak to her.”

“It’s all right, Thor,” said Freyja quietly. “I’m certain Loki will… in due time…” But she did not elaborate.

“In that case,” said Thor hesitantly, “I fear I must take my leave of Asgardia once more. There is a chaos in New York that I hastily left behind.”

Freyja shook her head as though to clear it. “Go then,” she said. “I would speak to Odin further. If we have need of you, we will call.”

Thor bowed and left, jogging down the hall, and his hopes were not forsaken. He found Loki in a corridor leading to the front gates.

“Loki!” he called, and Loki’s pace faltered briefly before picking up again. Still Thor caught up to her in no time and fell into step beside her.

"What has happened between you and Mother?” asked Thor. “That was a poor display of manners. She only wanted to thank you.”

Loki scoffed. “ _Thank_ me. That’s funny. That she should be gracious after—” But she cut herself off and shook her head. “We have had… a minor falling out, Thor.”

“What?” Thor grabbed her arm and stopped them. “Why? What about?”

Loki coolly pulled her arm from his grip. “Artistic differences.”

“Loki…”

“Thor, I just…” She pinched the bridge of her nose, her eyes squeezed shut, and sighed. “I just want to go home. Can I just go home without the third degree? I’m tired.”

Thor frowned and began to ask what she meant until he realized Loki was talking about New York.  _New York_ was home. Somewhere along the line, Loki had come to think of Midgard as Thor did; as a second home. Or perhaps, Thor thought, remembering the easy way Loki had interacted with Midgard as a child, how he always knew so much about its strange customs, and the unwelcome, unfriendly treatment of Loki in Asgardia, it was more like home than anywhere else.

“I shall accompany you then, if you will have me,” said Thor. “I, too, must return to New York. I left Midgard’s defenders in my haste to uncover the truth of our sister.”

“How very irresponsible of you,” said Loki, and Thor was reassured by her smirk. “Let us pray the city has not fallen to ruins in your absence. I did like my apartment very much,” she added wistfully, as though it was already gone.

“You underestimate the Midgardians’ strength,” chided Thor.

Loki chuckled. “Never.”

“If you will but give me time to stable my goats, I will escort you to your Manhattan apartment,” Thor offered. “We will take Mjolnir, as it is the fastest way for us to return when we are so weary.”

“And the least dignified way,” Loki complained, but she turned a corner in the direction of the stables anyway.

The stables were quiet at this late hour, and Thor thoroughly saw to Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder. They had a long, difficult journey as well and deserved some pampering before Thor tended to himself. When he was done, he turned to find that Loki had left her post at the doors of the stables, probably wandering off after Thor took too long with his goats. He patted Toothgrinder one last time and locked up, and then he went in search of his wayward sibling.

The stables were large, and it took Thor longer than he would have liked to find Loki, but eventually he heard a voice.

“I’m only teasing, Sleipnir. Have another.” A soft whinny. “You should consider yourself lucky.  _Your_ mama loves you.”

Thor turned a corner and came upon Loki standing in the eight-legged horse’s open stall. She stroked Sleipnir’s nose as he ate a sugar cube out of her hand.

“Loki,” Thor called to announce his presence, and he immediately regretted interrupting the tender scene. Loki jumped, whirling around and startling Sleipnir. He whinnied loudly and shuffled his feet, and Loki turned back to him to calm him.

“Shh, shh, oh hush, you silly creature,” she cooed, stroking his face with both hands. “It is only Thor, the big bumbling brute.” Sleipnir settled, snorting unhappily, and Loki shot a glare at Thor over her shoulder.

Thor smiled sheepishly and held out his open palms in supplication. “It seems I am quite overskilled in disturbing the peace.”

“Apparently.” Loki’s gaze shifted around the stable and she grimaced, still petting Sleipnir’s neck. Thor did not know why she should look so guilty, as though she had been caught doing something forbidden. Sleipnir was a child of Loki, albeit not this Loki; why should she not feel a connection to him? Surely Loki knew enough about his past lives to know about Loki’s children; Thor would be surprised if he did not research the past thoroughly enough to discover  _that_ .

Thor took a few steps into the stable and approached them when Loki did not protest. She produced another sugar cube from her pocket and Sleipnir accepted it eagerly.

“You will spoil him with those,” said Thor.

Loki chuckled. “What else is a mother supposed to do, if not spoil her children?” she said, throwing him an easy grin, but her mirth faded as suddenly as it had appeared and she looked away again, slipping into a melancholy that made Thor’s heart ache. What had  _happened_ to her?

“Come,” said Thor. “You need rest. I fear my adventure has been completed at the cost of your health. If I had known the extent of magic use necessary—”

“ _Our_ adventure,” Loki corrected. “I agreed most eagerly to the distraction. And I am more magically capable than you believe.”

“A side-effect of your sudden growth-spurt, I suppose,” said Thor, raising a prompting eyebrow.

“Your suppositions will have to go unresolved,” said Loki, patting Sleipnir once more. “Another time, Brother. But perhaps you will be satisfied to be reminded that practice makes perfect.”

Thor sighed and gave up. For now. Loki would reveal Loki’s secrets at a time most advantageous to Loki, and no earlier.

“Let’s go,” said Loki, turning from Sleipnir, but before she could move, the horse nipped lightly at her arm and then leaned down to sniff her coat pocket. “Ah, clever boy,” said Loki with a smirk. “You have discovered my secret. Very well.” Loki reached into her pocket and revealed two sugar cubes. “One for you,” she said, holding one out to Sleipnir and popping the other mouth in her mouth, "and one for me, because  _someone_ should reward us both for our cleverness.”

They locked up the stables and left the palace grounds for the landing pad from where Thor thought to depart. He waved to Heimdall in his tower and unhooked Mjolnir from his belt. It would be a long flight even with the swiftness at which Mjolnir traveled, but it would be faster than any other mode of transportation anyone could offer, except perhaps Loki’s transportation spell. Thor would not ask if of her, however, in her tired state, and Loki did not offer it. He waited while she read something on her Starkphone, the blue light from the screen throwing the shadows under her eyes into sharp contrast, and then held out his arm when she slipped the device out of sight.

“If you throw me over your shoulder, I shall be very cross with you,” Loki warned him.

“It would be easier for you to sleep in that position without fear of falling,” said Thor.

“How unseemly that would be,” she sniffed. “I will not sleep.”

Thor rolled his eyes. “Very well. Hold on tight, then.”

Loki snorted but stepped up to wrap her arms around Thor’s neck. Thor held her tight around her waist and then swung Mjolnir around and they took off.

\---

When Thor landed on the roof of Loki’s building, Loki immediately unwound her arms from around Thor’s neck and pushed out of his embrace. She brushed herself off coolly, straightening her coat and horned crown.

“Well that was… pleasant,” she bit out.

Thor grinned. “You fell asleep over Indianapolis.”

“I  _dozed_ over Indianapolis.”

“You were out cold, Loki.”

“I’ll knock you out cold,” she snapped, brandishing a fist, and Thor laughed. “It’s a wonder I would relax at all. Your stench could overpower that of your goats.”

“A fine compliment,” said Thor. “If one smells of soap and roses after battles, one does battle incorrectly.”

“And in spite of that, I’m still considering offering you use of my sofa,” sniffed Loki. “You are tired, too, Brother, don’t deny it,” she added when Thor could not hide his surprise. “If you’re not in any hurry to travel even  _more_ tonight, then you’re welcome to stay and rest.”

He was indeed tired and could stand to rest his arms at least before continuing on to Avengers Tower. It was late at night, in any case; he could do nothing now if the chaos continued. “Perhaps I will take you up on that offer.”

Loki led him through the roof access door and down a few flights of stairs to her apartment. They argued briefly about who would shower first, and when Loki won a contest of Rochambeau (which she insisted was the proper Midgardian way to settle disputes), she disappeared into the bathroom for a rather long time. Thor nabbed a beer and watched TV while he waited, and when Loki reemerged she looked refreshed, barefoot and dressed in loose Midgardian clothes. Thor took the bundle she offered to him and found that she had gathered a fresh towel and a change of clothes that might even fit him. He showered slowly, enjoying the feel of the warm water on his healing wounds, and when he stepped out, made somewhat sleepy by the steamy comfort of the shower, Loki was slumped on the sofa playing video games.

“Finally,” she said. “Just because I gave you permission to sleep here doesn’t mean you can use all my hot water.”

Thor collapsed on the sofa next to her with a sigh and picked up a second controller from the table. “You took longer than I did,” Thor told her. “And I daresay I should get some treat for the trouble I bore. If you’ll remember, while you were fraternizing with the angels, their queen was torturing me.”

“Sororitizing,” Loki corrected. “And I’m sure you deserved it. Barging into a foreign land and immediately making demands—”

“Yes, you have already berated me for my boorish behavior,” said Thor. “I will opt to be more diplomatic in the future.”

“Well, I can’t discount your method completely,” Loki admitted, starting a two-player game. “The angels would not be easily reasoned with. Not with anything  _you_ might think to offer them, at any rate. Do you know they refused my offer of payment if only they would refrain from murdering babies? Sociopaths…”

“Then it is lucky I brought you with me,” said Thor. He was relieved to find that it was a racing game, as he did not have the energy to wrestle with the small game controller to make the complicated maneuvers in a fighting game. Too many buttons. “Though I would appreciate some hint as to your plans beforehand.”

“I had to make it up on the fly. And besides, I  _did_ try to give you a hint. It’s not my fault you are too thick to understand.”

Loki beat Thor handily in the first round of the racing game. They played another round, and as Thor pulled ahead, Loki resorted to distraction and misdirection, mainly by way of leaning to the side and pushing Thor’s face with her foot. Thor refused to let it rattle him and focused on the screen despite Loki’s soft whines and (thankfully clean) foot on his face.

Then, out of nowhere, Thor exploded.

“What,” he said, dumbfounded.

Loki threw back her head and cackled. Her character’s car flew past his on the screen and across the finish line. Thor scowled at her. He had been so close to the finish line and somehow Loki had managed to get hold of a blue shell and use it at the last second.

“I’d been saving that for  _ages_ ,” she told him, grinning, still pressing her foot on his face. Then she yelped as Thor grabbed her leg, yanking her toward him, and tickled her foot. Loki kicked at him with her free leg until Thor relented and reached over to shove her off the couch. She gasped and hit the floor with a deep thump.

“Thor!” she said in mock indignation. “That is  _no_ way to treat a lady.”

Thor stretched out and lay down on the sofa, grinning down at Loki triumphantly. “You’re not a lady, you’re nothing but a sister.”

For a moment the smile on Loki’s face faltered and Thor felt a pang of guilt in his stomach until the second part of his jest registered and Loki smirked.

“Disney? Really, Thor?” she said, shaking her head.

“You are not the only one who enjoys Midgardian entertainment and can make cultural references.”

“Yes, but  _Disney_ ?”

Thor laughed and moved over again to make room for Loki. They sat back to watch an episode of Dog Cops, but not even ten minutes into the episode, Thor felt himself nodding off. He was startled awake, however, when Loki’s head fell on his shoulder. Thor looked down and found that she had passed out. She had fought sleep valiantly, but she had used a lot of magic of late. Thor was mildly surprised that she had not collapsed earlier; despite his teasing, he knew she had merely dozed over Indiana. It had not been a deep enough sleep to renew her energy.

He briefly considered nudging Loki awake to put her to bed properly, but Thor paused and found himself unable to disturb her. Loki needed sleep and Thor…

Thor didn’t want this moment to end yet.

He could feel himself slowly losing Loki again. Not like before, but he still felt Loki drifting, not sharing as much as he once had, especially since his mysterious growth spurt. Loki was changing—had changed, somehow—and though they remained on good terms, it was not the same as when Thor had first brought Loki back. It was Thor’s fault, he thought. He had left Loki alone very soon after he had brought him back—of course that shook their relationship. And then Loki had run off with the Young Avengers… and that had changed him, too, though, Thor thought, not in a bad way. He was just… different. Thor supposed he was just still reeling from the loss of the much younger version of his brother; this Loki was most definitely an adult, which had its own benefits (free beer) and drawbacks (Loki didn’t  _need_ Thor anymore). He had hoped Loki’s childhood would last a bit longer, that Thor might enjoy having a  _little_ brother, but that was a selfish desire and nothing next to Loki’s happiness. Perhaps being a child was not going well and that is what prompted the sudden change.

Thor wished children did not desire so eagerly to grow up. But that was the way of things.

Whatever Loki’s form, Thor decided, he would appreciate his sibling for everything that Loki was. No longer would he take Loki for granted, lest he lose Loki in some other way. They still had a chance. Things were going well. Loki had aided Thor in his latest quest (although part of Loki’s “aid” did include leaving Thor to be tortured and ignorant of any larger plan, but that had all worked out in the end). What’s more, Loki was comfortable enough still to fall asleep in Thor’s presence. She had been weary and dead on her feet all day, but it was only when she was back in the safety of her apartment that she let her guard down, even with Thor there. Thor could not ignore the significance of that.

So Thor let his sibling sleep, just for a little while longer. They would enjoy this peace for as long as it lasted.

Forever, Thor hoped.


End file.
